Today I bought a journal.
The book itself is nothing special, the paper is thin, the cover is fake leather, and it was purchased on sale at Walmart with an old $10 gift card. This mundaneness is why I chose this journal specifically. I knew a nice journal, made by Midori or Moleskine, would judge me. A mediocre journal would let me write.
I've always enjoyed writing. My early childhood was filled with making comics, writing and drawing whatever story came to mind. In elementary I loved to write research papers about my favorite animals (mostly different species of wolf and fox). In middle school and high school, I fell in love with writing fiction and argumentative essays. However, I struggled to write. For school assignments, I could write easily and receive perfect marks, but in my free time I would open a Word document and would freeze. No matter how much I was inspired, no matter how badly my brain yelled plot points, no matter how long I stared at the blank document...
Nothing.
Writing on the computer felt final. I was scared of needing to go back and revise large sections of text, or revising plot details after a paragraph had been written. Drawing computer felt the same way, I was afraid of sketching freely due to how final the pixels felt. So when I bought a sketchbook and my ideas flowed freely, I knew what I had to do to start writing again. I bought a journal, and it worked. I'm writing my draft now, and words flow from my brain to pen like never before. I have no fear of judgment from the paper like I do the screen, I'm able to be open. I made this blog 4 months ago, wanting to share my writing. Now, with this journal, I can. I have a lot I want to write now, from small pieces like this, to longer arguments, to short stories, to world-building explorations; I hope you stick around.